My wife remembers it better than I do.
When I first met my wife it was January 2006 at registration for a ministry internship we were both a part of. I know the exact day and time because she told me about it. You see, I was so self absorbed at that point of my life I didn’t even acknowledge her; I was only interested in being seen and for others to acknowledge me; it wouldn’t be until later in to the internship until I found how much we had in common. She had an amazing voice, loved Jesus desperately and could play piano (among other instruments) so the natural progression of our relationship was to start a band together with a couple of other friends. We started spending a lot more time together (always with friends as per the rules of the organization) and as such began to grow in to better and better friends all the while I remained completely oblivious to her growing feelings towards me. I remember at one point sitting on her front porch and saying these words, “I love that we can have a completely platonic friendship”. Yeah, I said that. Looking back it was a very good thing that I was unaware of her feelings towards me as I was not in a position to jump in to a relationship and still had a lot of work to do on my heart. God was protecting both of us from getting ahead of ourselves and giving us the patience to wait it out.
I remember the moment the veil was lifted off my eyes. She was walking from her shared house to campus as I was headed the other way. As she came up over the crest of the hill her hair and skirt were blowing in the wind and my jaw dropped at how absolutely gorgeous she looked in that moment. How had I never seen her like this? Had she always been this beautiful? How blind had I been? We exchanged pleasantries, something about band practice that night if I recall, but all I could think about was this new light I saw her in. I didn’t quite know what to do with the emotions I was going through so it took a few weeks of weeding through them before I came to the conclusion that I had to marry this girl. It wasn’t until my second year of the internship that I actually asked her out but being the overachiever I was planned out a large scale scavenger hunt (she completed it way faster than I planned) that ended with me at a bridge with a rose. Looking back I’m not sure she ever did tell me “yes” 🙂
I write this for one reason, it’s incredibly important to remember we have come from. I look at pictures of us back then and remember how simple things were. No kids, no real responsibilities or possessions and a wide open world ahead of us waiting to be explored. We’ve kept much of the same core values we laid out back then in our marriage now: We still pray together every night, we don’t speak poorly of each other around our friends, we still do everything we can to have a weekly “date night” (even if it’s just the couch with a cup of ice cream), and we have still yet to spend a night apart. We don’t try to relive those early moments but keep pressing forward determined to find more adventures together as our family grows and changes. When times get tough look through those old photos. Reminisce together. Look back fondly at times when life moved a bit more slowly. Remember why you fell for your spouse in the first place and and do everything you can to pursue them with the passion you had back then.