I have a battle going on inside and struggle to fight against it at times.
I’m tired. All the time. Like many families I work during the day while my wife stays home with the kids. It’s easy for me to entertain the thought that it’s more important for me to get a solid 8 at night and let her get up with the kids, after all I could be fired for falling asleep at my desk! I’ve made a million excuses as to why I should be allowed to sleep but not a single one of those addresses the issue I’m struggling with: Do I value what she does during the day? Do I really understand what a toll it takes on her both mentally and physically to take care of our two children? I need to get off my high horse and help.
“Yeah, I’m tired… but my wife is growing a freaking child inside of her…”
My full time job is as a System Administrator, not the most physically exerting job out there but it is incredibly mentally straining. After I get off work I come home to relieve my wife of the kids so she can get some rest, help with dinner and bedtime and then help with whatever needs to be done around the house. My wife and I usually get an hour or two together before we pray and I start my second job as a web developer and hosting manager. I get as much work done as possible but between my son getting up for potty/water and a toddler who still won’t sleep through the night my productivity isn’t great. I get to “bed” somewhere between midnight and 1am most nights only to be woken in an hour or two by my daughter (often multiple times). I’m up with my alarm at 5:30 so I can get back in the office by 7. Yeah, I’m tired… but my wife is growing a freaking child inside of her and has little help through the day.
I know this pace is not permanently sustainable. I know this is just a season of life and I’ll look back and see that it was worth it. Right now I’m doing everything I can to keep moving and giving my beautiful bride every chance she can take to rest and prepare for this baby. She needs the rest more than I do and I’ll keep telling myself that until I have removed all doubt of its’ truth.