Last night I posted an article and referred to porn as “the old addiction”. As fathers it is our job to be the example of masculinity to our children; this includes how we view and talk about women both in public and in private. Pornography is incredibly destructive and something you need to talk to your children about younger than you may imagine. I was 8 when I was first exposed and even though I ran to “tattle” on the other kids it stuck with me. By the time I got in to my teens I had already developed an addiction and was thinking about it constantly.
“A recent study conducted by the NSPCC ChildLine found that a tenth of 12 to 13-year-olds fear they may be addicted to pornography. That’s right, a whopping 10% of kids who just started 7th grade are saying they are already watching porn to the point where they are concerned and don’t feel like they can stop.” –Fight The New Drug
Through my teenage years I figured it would be something I’d stop doing when I started having sex, this wasn’t the case at all. It wasn’t until years later when my loving wife came to me after a women’s event asking if this was a problem for me that I finally began to address it and begin feeling a sense of freedom from it’s chains. Those next few nights of hard conversations were incredibly difficult but so completely worth it. I had no idea the impact confessing to my wife would have. I had never related it to “cheating” in my mind but that’s exactly the weight my confession had… and rightfully so, I had gotten sexual gratification from the body of another woman. There is no difference. Our marriage is much stronger than it was before and I have the freedom to be open and honest with her about my struggles without fear of a negative and explosive reaction. Intimacy flourishes when there are no secrets like this.
Men: Statistically speaking you’ve been exposed and likely have struggled with this addiction in the past. Don’t assume this is something you can break on your own or can be fixed by by the marriage bed. Find accountability with other men and coming clean with your wife, It is going to be hard but it’s worth it. Your marriage is worth it. If you have no one to go to with questions know I am always willing to chat and help you through this. It’s a passion close to my heart to see men freed from this and walking out in true, God honoring masculinity.