It’s easy to be the lone stag.
There’s no one to tell us what to do, no one to be accountable to and no one to call you on your ish. It’s easy to get away with those little lies and half-truths. The best part about being a “lone stag” is that you don’t have to let anyone in so no one gets to see how hard it really is to keep up the act. You don’t need help. The truth is far from it.
There is a great importance in having other men in your life. We sharpen each other (Pv 27:17), we have an outlet for “guy stuff” that would typically overwhelm or annoy our wives and we desperately need the accountability. I’ve rarely found a man who is unfaithful to his wife while having close friends who aren’t afraid to ask tough questions. The hard part for many men is getting past the surface level stuff with friends and diving in to what is really going on.
I think we let each other off the hook to easily. We accept “I’m doing fine” as a valid answer and go on about our way. I’m completely guilty of this. There was a time where my best friend and I would talk more often and about things that really mattered rather than the weather, hunting and what new anime we’ve watched. I miss those times but am just as at fault for letting them slip away as he is. “Some times you just grow apart” isn’t an acceptable excuse for not having accountability in your life. When one friend moves away and the time between phone calls grows longer and longer you start looking for new men to connect with.
Don’t let yourself think that you can do it alone. You can’t. And that’s okay. Reach out to good men around you. Invite them to hang out. Go fishing, golfing, gaming, hiking or whatever you both enjoy doing. You need them in your life and they need you.